Dr. Nicholas Ivan Memorial
The last picture taken of Dr. Ivan.June 24, 2000. Included are brothers Pat, Bob, Dick and Tom.
On His Work Ethic
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| Eulogy by William Ivan | Eulogy by The Ivan Brothers | Eulogy by Dr. Thomas Rush |
Dear Dad,
I love you, and I always will. You were my rock, my mentor, and my best friend.
You said losing your Dad was hard, but I had no idea. It's something that I would have been fine never learning. I don't know how to act. I think that I should be strong to help Mom get through this, but I feel I'm not letting you know how much you meant to me.
Whenever I needed someone, you were there. And now you're gone, and I feel alone. And that scares me. I know that I have family and friends, but it's just not the same.
I want to thank you for all the things that you did that I never thanked you for. The trips, being at my games, supporting me through the rough times, and the late night talks. I never did let you know how much they all meant to me.
Thanks for everything. Goodbye.
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Ladies and Gentlemen, in honor of over 15 years of service to Midland High School as Football team physician, we would like to dedicate tonight's game to the late Dr. Nicholas J. Ivan. Dr. Ivan passed away over the summer, but not before leaving a remarkable legacy at Midland High that truly defines what it is to be a Chemic.
As a player, Dr. Ivan earned All-Conference honors at tackle. As a Team Physician, Dr. Ivan treated hundreds of sprained ankles, bruised knees, pulled muscles, and broken bones - but each with a level of concern and compassion that was unique to Dr. Ivan. On behalf of Midland High School, we would like to say "Thank you, Nick...you will be missed."
Read by Beth Ivan
My dad (Pat) shared: "Nick did not know that leaves were pointed...he thought they were round. He did not know that bricks had lines in them until he got glasses when he was about eight or nine.
Uncle Mike shared: "What I enjoyed about him was his intellect. I enjoyed the verbal sparring sessions we had. He, with all his successes, never forgot who he was, or where he was from. He was loyal to his family, and when I really needed him, he was exactly what I wanted him to be."
Uncle Dan shared: "The thing that sitcks out in my mind is how much Nick looked like Dad. Some of us look like Dad, but Nick was Dad. Their hands were big and thick, yet they could do the most intricate things with them. As a doctor, the things Nick could do in surgery were amazing. I don't know how he did it. He was also very compassionate. He cared about people and took time with them. There is a right way and a wrong way to do things...Nick believed only in the right way.
Uncle Phil shared: When the minister asked for one word to describe Nick, what came to my mind was compassionate. He didn't give up...never said no. My daughter broke her arm several times within a few years. After the third time, Linda was telling him it hurt. He asked her if it was broken and she said she wasn't sure. He told her: 'If it's broken, you ought to know what that feels like by now!' There are many people who are back to their everyday lives, because Nick did everything possible while they were in his care. He constantly read about new research; he never gave up."
Uncle Dick shared: Nick was the reconcilliator; the level-headed one in the family. He had infinite patience. He tried to teach me how to hit a curve ball for hours! I never could hit the ball. Come to find out...I couldn't see it; I needed glasses. Nick did everything with intensity; a trait he inherited from Dad. All of us do things intensity, but if we gave eighty percent, Nick gave one hundred percent. We lived together his last year of medical school. He was going to be ten times the doctor as everyone else living in the house. Every night he would read and re-read the medical book for his current rotation and he would spend an hour tying knots. He wanted to make sure he could tie them correctly, and quickly, when he was in surgery. Once he got into something, you had to throw a rock at him to get his attention. He could also play a game, to play a game though...he didn't have to win. But, if you were playing Trivial Pursuit, you wanted to be on his team. Nick was always willing to give; he never complained. That was a Dad trait too. They both gave and gave and gave."
Uncle Bob shared: "What sticks out in my mind about Nick was that he never did the talk, he just walked the walk. He wanted to be a doctor in every sense of the word. If someone needed him, he did what he had to do, no matter what the circumstances. While coaching, or any time, if I had a kid that was hurt, I'd call Nick for advice and he would ask, 'Can you get him here today?' Nick was the most intelligent, logical, reasonable, and grounded person I knew. Without him ever telling anyone anything, you just knew he cared. If you needed him, he'd be there.
In our family, there were the three older boys (Pat, Mike and Dan), the three youngest boys (Philip and the twins), and Nick and me. We were in the middle together.
We couldn't do what the older boys did because we were "too young." That meant looking after Philip and the twins which allowed Nick and I to spend a lot of time together. We were on the little league team together; we went fishing together; we rode our bikes out to Uncle Mark's together; we helped Dad in the garden together...we basically did everything together. All this time, I was looking out for my younger brother and he was looking out for me.
When we were on the Midland High football team together, he played tackle and I was the running back behind him. The best play the team had was a pitch around the left end. Nick would pull and lead the blocking while I took the pitch and ran it up the alley. Nick would break the blocking down and analyze it so that when we ran it, he knew exactly how to block that play. Running it, was simple...the smart guy pulled around the end and the dummy followed him.
Football was the only time I ever heard Nick say that something about him was more important than it really was...he was sure that it would look better in the program if the blocker was bigger than the running back.
After high school, Nick went on to Alma College, where, after only three years of study, he learned enough to get into the University of Michigan Medical School. He got excellent grades and he earned every one of them. I remember in his dorm, there was a community bathroom. Nick never wanted to waste any time so when he needed to use the facilities, he would take a textbook in with him to study.
I remember one time he returned to school after Thanksgiving with five dollars in his pocket. When we picked him up for Christmas break...he had change! I just couldn't figure out how anyone could do that, but for Nick, it was simple; eat in the cafeteria, go to class, and study - what do you need money for!
As a doctor, he was special. He always made time for his patients, his colleagues, his friends, and most especially, his family. As a doctor, he treated people rather than bones. I have heard him described as a perfectionist and in many ways he was. He wanted every operation to be perfect not because he wanted it perfect, but because he demanded that his patients have the best result possible. He was always concerned about others more than himself. He was...special.
His number one priority was his wife and kids. He and I played a lot of golf together, but we never set up a tee time that he didn't okay with Karen first or that he didn't check to see if the kids wanted to come along. And if they wanted to come, he always made sure to let them. This is how Lori, Matt, Nick and I were playing golf together last Sunday.
I have spent some very tough days with Nick. Getting a passport in Chicago and flying to Switzerland to see our very sick Father was one. Two of the toughest, however, were the day he and I left Midland for Colorado and the day we left Colorado for Midland. It was very hard for him to leave Karen and the kids in Midland to start out a strange situation in Colorado. Harder still, was leaving them in Colorado when he moved back to Michigan. On that day, I remember...we were loading the truck and were ready to leave. Nick looked high and low for Lisa, but she didn't want to say goodbye and was no where to be found. All the way to Michigan he talked about Lisa and Bill and Lori and Matt and Karen and their situation; never a word about how he was moving to a new community, a new practice, by himself.
He told me about a time he was putting Lori on a plane for Europe and he was watching her walk to the gate, knowing full well that she would not look back, wanting her not to leave but knowing that she must. There is lots and lots of love in this family and that is something they will always have.
He also loved his brothers, his other relatives and his many friends. He always had time for all of us. He touched many lives with his kind, gentle way. When I asked him to look at my shoulder or my knee, I would explain that it hurt when I did "so and so." He would reply that if it hurt when I did "so and so" - don't do it! But then, with those big, soft hands, he would gently try to see what was wrong. He has always been there when I needed him. He has always been looking out for me. These past four or five years have been very traumatic for me. He never said "do this" or "do that", but he was always there with encouragement and a shoulder to lean on. He was a gentleman and he was a gentle man.
They say that God only takes the young ones when they are ready. Well...God now has taken the best. Nick has started on a new trip, he is walking toward the gate and we know he won't look back. We don't want him to go but we know he must. And yet...I know that the next time I need it, there will be this soft, gentle spirit providing me with strength and comfort and that will be Nick looking out for me...like he always has. He is my brother...he is my best friend. I will miss him. Good bye, Nick...I love you.
For several years, Nick and I worked closely together. I saw first hand how Nick treated his patients.
Nick Ivan always put his patients' needs first!
He was the consummate humanitarian who always made time to listen carefully, understand thoroughly, and analyze scrupulously...no matter who the patient or what their social standing. Nick never turned away a patient - no matter that he wasn't legally or morally required to accept a specific case, no matter that they were unable to pay, no matter that they were unusually difficult or bothersome to treat because of physical, emotional or personality problems.
Nick was always the student. He was always prepared. His memory was remarkable and his fund of knowledge in his chosen field of medicine was exceptional. Combined with his meticulous surgical skills, his intellectual prowess provided his patients with orthopaedic care that was superlative. His patients knew he was above average technically, of course, but I think even more importantly, they knew he cared - he really cared - about their personal welfare. This patient love and loyalty was readily apparent as they came flocking back to him when he returned to Midland, recently, after being gone for five years.
Nick took more than his share of night and weekend call over his entire career. In addition, he was always available even when not officially on call. Hence, he was chronically overloaded and overworked. His office staff tried valiantly to protect him from this, but whenever a referring physician would contact Nick directly he would always say "yes." This sense of duty and responsibility to patients extended beyond Midland County. His willingness to accept any and all cases when he was on call oftentimes led to a larger than normal amount of after-hours emergency work coming from outlying areas. This was so apparent to his co-workers in the operating room that they affectionately dubbed his days on the call roster as "Nick at Nite."
When the health care system requested someone to provide orthopaedic services in Mt. Pleasant or Clare or Houghton Lake or Gladwin, Nick was always first to say "yes." Some years ago I queried Nick about why he was so willing and agreeable in accepting so much emergency and after-hours work when other colleagues did not feel so obligated. His simple and instant reply was: "That's my job...that's what I do!"
To say that Nick Ivan was a "compassionate physician" is not adequate. I prefer to think of Nick as a "caring and doing human being." He did the best he could to understand a person's problem and then did the best he could to do something about it. His "best," in my opinion, meant "as good as there is anywhere." As a physician, Nick Ivan was a saint.
"Nick always put his family first!"
These are words that you will hear from each and every one of us who had the privilege to work alongside Nick Ivan for the past quarter of a century. His sense of duty to and love for his family was constantly on his mind as he would relate - in painstaking detail - to anybody who would listen, what his kids were up to, what their problems were, what they were planning together, where they had been, and what went right or wrong on the last trip they took together.
Birthdays, anniversaries, and all types of family events always took precedence - often requiring significant additional time and effort on Nick's part to re-arrange his busy schedule so as to properly meet his strongly felt obligation to his patients.
It was plainly obvious to all that Nick's number one priority was always Karen and the kids. I have never known a man who was more devoted to his wife and children than Nick Ivan was.
Finally, some personal observations about Nick:
Nick Ivan was one of the most unique human beings I have ever known. Everybody who had any contact with him would always refer to him as a "good man" or a "nice guy." I defy you to find a person who ever knew Nick and can or will say a bad word about him.
Nick was exceedingly humble and self-effacing. He represented the absolute antithesis of the current "blame-game" philosophy where everything that happens to you is somebody else's fault. On the contrary, he always blamed himself for things - even when it was obvious to all that he was utterly innocent.
Nick was quiet, yet extremely effective and productive. Because he had the respect of his associates, he didn't have to raise his voice to get attention. This didn't mean he wasn't talkative - once he got going. His propensity for remembering minutiae was legendary!
Nick's word was pure gold. He couldn't tell a lie if he tried. Everybody knew it and trusted him unconditionally. My respect and trust for Nick Ivan knows no bounds.
In fact, Nick Ivan was the most honest and honorable man I have ever known.
On behalf of all your colleagues, co-workers, staff, and friends in the medical community, Nick, I say "good-bye." You will be sorely missed.
Today...a casual summer Sunday,
Today...a day of days.
And to watch it soar,
But Today is not about supremacy,
And the ball, As it falls...
In all my destined life,
Tee off promptly at ten.
Warm-ups, sadly, as usual,
Slice right, hook left, again and again.
After all, what better way,
To laugh and learn from rounds long past,
Than to strike a ball upon the grass,
High, Straight and sure,
Toward the defenseless cup;
Or, well, toward the beach, the way I foul up.
Rather it's for playing a round,
Free from idle controversy,
And reveling in the simple sounds,
Of wind o'er hilltop brow,
N' of birds on Maple's bough,
In the cup! "Nice putt, Dad."
If I could have any day,
To once again say those words to Him;
I would choose all of my Todays.
Matthew Ivan 2000
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Psalm 15
He who acts with justice and speaks the truth in his heart;
He who does not slander with his tongue;
He who does no wrong to others,
Who casts no slur on his neighbor,
Such a man will stand firm in the Lord forever.
